Grew up with disordered eating patterns, now battling the love for food versus a great body, any help? ?

It's not what your eating it's what's eating at you! Most food/body related issues have nothing to do with food itself. There are repressed memories from you; from something in your life that changed your thinking, you need to find out what that is and fix it thus fixing your food and body image issues. It would help if you talked to a doctor about this, I realize the mind is strong but in trying to figure out when this first started and what was going on at that time of your life can be quite difficult. God Bless!